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Why I talk about my miscarriage and why YOU Should too!

In case this is your first time on my blog, Welcome sister. I send you a virtual hug and my deepest condolences for your pregnancy loss.

This is a club no one would choose to join, unfortunately here we are.

My goal is to always encourage you and guide you through the deep waters of pregnancy loss. 

You will get through this, even if it’s one second at a time.

**This post may contain affiliate links, that simply means when you click a link on a product I recommend I make a small commission at no cost you. **

MY MISCARRIAGE STORY

I started talking about my pregnancy loss in 2017, when we had our second miscarriage. 

Feel free to catch up on my loss story and then come back here to finish reading this one.

 It was a 15 week missed miscarriage.

Butttt, we had ALREADY announced my pregnancy at 12 weeks because “ThAt’S tHe SaFe ZoNe, right?”. 

We had just heard our baby’s heartbeat a few days prior to our announcing it to our family, friends, and all of facebook world.

I mean with my now 6 year old (rainbow baby) daughter, we announced her at 10 weeks pregnant,

WHY I SHARED MY MISCARRIAGE STORY

After the appointment that confirmed our SECOND loss, I felt like I had no choice, but to share what happened to us.

I mean, technically, everyone has a choice, but for me it boiled down to: 

1. We had already announced publicly that we were pregnant, so people knew and we asking the typical questions,  “How are you doing, how are you feeling?”
2. I would not be able to handle myself emotionally if a friend or family member asked me how my pregnancy is going.
3. I didn’t want to to have to explain to each individual friend/family member, that I’m all of a sudden not pregnant.

So, because we announced earlier, I kinda felt like I was backed into a corner. 

I HAD to tell people so that they wouldn’t joyfully ask me how I am doing or how the baby is doing.

RELATED POSTS:

• Should you share your miscarriage on social media?

• Your first period after a miscarriage

• Why it’s OK to grieve your first trimester pregnancy loss.

Little did I know how big of an impact sharing my pregnancy loss on social media would be!

THE IMPACT OF MY STORY:

I added a quick post to my facebook profile notifying any of our facebook friends that we had lost the baby, attached to that post was a link to my blog where they can read exactly what we knew.

At the time, my blog was centered more on moms tips and DIY projects. I added my miscarriage story as a one-time article, so that I wouldn’t have to explain a million times to friends and family what happened.

Well, somehow that blog post started getting a lot of organic traction! So, i decided to write another article (20 Things to do and ways to honor you pregnancy loss) and then another, and another.

I felt freedom & support in being able to say, ‘yeah, this is part of my story, I am not ashamed to share it’. In fact, it brought me peace to be able to share my loss story. 

The more I wrote, the more I could feel my heart processing everything I had gone through in my loss journey.

WHY SHOULD YOU SHARE?

Everybody who goes through a pregnancy loss handles it differently. You truly do not know how you will react until it happens to you. 

This post isn’t me saying you NEED to share your miscarriage, this is me just gently, nudging you to tell your story -IF- you feel led too.

Listen to your heart, mama.

Here is a helpful post: Should I share my miscarriage loss on social media?

Process your grief:

Sharing your pregnancy loss with someone you trust, like a good friend can help you to process your grief. 

It can help you breakdown your thoughts emotions. When you tell someone about your loss you have to articulate what you are feeling and how you are doing, therefore processing your grief deeper. You can tell a good friend, find a support group for pregnancy loss moms (if you don’t have one you can join my private loss group here) or you can speak to a professional therapist.

Freedom:

I believe there is freedom in being able to tell your pregnancy loss story.

When you go through a miscarriage the grief can be so intense, it can feel like there is an elephant sitting on your chest. 

And for me, once I told my story to a few people, I felt gradually lighter.

Do you know how it feels to hold a secret in so deeply, but you just want to share that secret?

I believe there is freedom in not having to keep it a ‘secret’ or keep it ‘private’ anymore.

You no loner have to carry this load alone.

Encouragement: 

If you tell your pregnancy loss story, you may be able to find sincere encouragement from those around you. 

Once I came out publicly with my miscarriage, many of my friends and even family members began telling me of their miscarriage story, stillbirth stories, etc.

I had no idea!

I knew miscarriage was ‘common’ (1 in 4). But, I guess even though I know the statistics, when I picture all the people I personally know who have endured a loss…it’s mind-boggling.

Healing:

When you talk about your loss with other people, whether its friends, family members, a support group or even a therapist. This action alone can help you to process your grief.

 The more I talked about my miscarriages the more my heart felt stronger. It didn’t happen all at once, it was a very gradual pace.

Healing to me is:

• being able to enjoy life again,

• being able to talk about my story without crying a river,

• having hope and faith again,

• Being able to move forward while also honoring and remembering the little life I created.

I hope and pray for your healing too. 

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