The 3 mistakes women make after having a miscarriage.

Oph, that’s a bold title, isn’t it?

Now before you come at me with pitchforks, hear me out.

I have had miscarriages too, you can read about my second miscarriage here.

But, the other day I was journaling and thought about all the ‘thoughts’ I wish I had ignored after going through my miscarriages.

What valuable piece of information would I tell someone who is going through a miscarriage?

If I had the opportunity to just share just one little quick tip for dealing with life after miscarriage, this would be it!

Below I listed the 3 mistakes (I made these mistakes when I went through my miscarriages) that women make after they have a miscarriage.

Mistake 1:

Believing you are at fault: THIS, this is number 1. YOU ARE NOT AT FAULT. You did not cause your baby’s life to end.

This guilt that you carry of thinking you did something wrong, wondering whether you could have prevented it, wondering if you had just done something differently will -EAT-you- alive.

That is a heavy load you carry when you believe you are at fault.

God does not want you to carry this heavy load.

Jesus says come come to me all who are weary and need rest.

Lay that burden-filled thought to rest.

Pray and give it to God.

Mistake 2:

Listening to people’s criticism: Oh, goodness, the amount of idiotic things I have heard people say to me or my friends going through a miscarriage is, C R A Z Y. Some examples include: “ At LeAst YoU wErEn’T tHaT faR aLoNg”, or “you should be grateful you at least have a living child”. Why do people say these things?

It can be hard to ignore people’s ignorant and sometimes insensitive comments about your pregnancy loss, but it is necessary if you want to have peace.

Mistake 3:

Believing there is a certain way to grieve: I think, we , as people have a generally misconstrued view of grief, or, at least I did.

It’s ok if you can’t stop crying and it’s also ok if you’re NOT crying.

Everyone grieves differently. And it’s important to note, just because one mom may be outwardly showing her grief and another mom is not, doesn’t minimize the pain that each of the mothers feel.

Going through a miscarriage is rough. You may start to question your actions leading up to your pregnancy loss.

People will inevitably say dumb stuff, you may even question your grief and how to go about it.

Above all please remember to give yourself grace…. be gentle on yourself during this season of loss.