Share if this is helpful!

7 ways to protect your heart after a miscarriage.

The aftermath of a miscarriage is a slow healing process, and in order to heal your heart, mind, and soul you will need to do a bit of self-reflection. These are the 7 tips I recommend doing if you want to protect your heart during your miscarriage grieving process.

This post may contain affiliate links. If you click on a link and purchase it, I receive a small commision at no cost you.

1.Unfollow pregnant friends on social media.

If you are having a hard time seeing pregnancy announcements or friends/ family who are ‘happily’ cuddling their little babies on social media.

I get it.  and that’s ok.

The way you are feeling—not wanting to see baby bumps or teeny newborns is pretty normal after a miscarriage. I’ve been there too.

Do not let anyone make you feel, bad about your decision on unfollowing people or taking a break on social media.

Seeing other women pregnant or with their newborns can bring about the most primal desire of fertility and of wishing you were still pregnant.

Its ok to shield yourself from this so that you can start to heal your heart during this painful season. 

This is me saying, “Go-ahead and unfollow friends or family on Facebook’. 

There will be a time when you are ready to see all of this, but right now, it’s ok to do what is in the best interest of your healing heart and if that means ‘unfollowing’ a few people, then so be it.

---

RELATED POSTS: MY 15 WEEK MISSED MISCARRIAGE STORY

---

2. Decline invites to baby showers or birthday parties.

This right here is a personal decision, I have friends who have declined invites to baby showers and I have friends who have mustered all of the strength they have and attended a baby shower.

This can be a rather sticky situation and there are a few things to consider, that may help you decide what you should do. 

Tips to help you decide whether to attend a baby shower after a miscarriage

• Is this person someone who you are close with or are they just an acquaintance? 
• Does this person know about your miscarriage?
• How will not going to this baby shower affect your relationship with this person? 
• Can you talk to this person in private and let them know that, although you are happy for them, your heart is not ready to be amongst a celebration of this magnitude?

It stinks that we even have to have these mental conversations, because what we really need is some emotional down-time to recover.

3. Seek help: Bereavement counseling

One of the best things that I did in my own pregnancy loss journey was to seek out bereavement counseling. 

I originally sought counseling after I had my 15 week missed miscarriage.

 But, what I didn’t realize is that although my miscarriage is what brought me in to seek counseling. 

I had a host of things I need to work through, internally!

My miscarriage was just the catalyst that brought me in.

If you or your spouse are in the military, you maybe be eligible for non-medical counseling services through MilitaryOneSource. This is how I found a great therapist during my pregnancy loss. 

But, when calling be prepared to go into lots of personal questions about why you are looking for counseling and personal info.

4. Find a community

Finding a community that you can relate to when you have a miscarriage can help you not feel so alone.

Do you know anyone who has had a pregnancy loss? If you have, reach out to them so that you can have someone to talk to who understands your loss. 

If you don’t “personally” know anyone or if you’re not ready to talk to anyone, join a support group online. There are tons of “miscarriage support” groups on Facebook; including my own Facebook group; Pregnancy Loss Sisters (please make sure to answer questions for approval). I would absolutely love to meet you and hear your story.

Even if you are not ready to talk to anyone in an online support group, like Facebook, you can still join miscarriage loss support groups and lurk around.

You don’t need to share your story if you are not ready, but while inside the group use the search tab to find specific topics or just scroll around and see what others are writing and feeling.

It can be validating to see and meet other women who share similar sentiments about their loss, knowing you are not alone in this and that your feelings are normal. 

---

RELATED POSTS: 20 THINGS TO DO AFTER A MISCARRIAGE

---

5. Write in a journal.

When going through a miscarriage you may not be able to express what you are feeling, (I know I didn’t).

Your feelings of grief might hit you like a truck or it may come in waves, you’re ‘fine’ one minute and sobbing the next. 

Take the time to write down your feelings. 

You can try doing a “brain dump”, basically, you will UNAPOLOGETICALLY write everything you are thinking and feeling. Don’t worry about spelling, don’t worry about trying to get the “right” words down.

Just WRITE. Write until you feel the pressure and stress and your body starts to release. 

If you need a more organized way to get your thoughts on paper, you can grab my free “Miscarriage Grief Journal” in this PDF printable you will find daily journal prompts that help you examine your thoughts and your heart on your pregnancy loss.

6. Delve into your spirituality

This can mean different things for different people, but for me (delving into my spirituality) meant that I needed to draw closer to Jesus, despite all my pain, the questions and unknowns with my pregnancy loss. 

However, when it comes to pregnancy loss, I typically see one or the other happening to women.

You will either cling to your faith more than ever or you will back away from your faith.

Even though you are questioning, “Why did this happen to me?” and wondering what God’s plan is for your life…I think it’s deeply important that you continue to push through in your faith.

We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair;persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.

2 Corinthians 4:8-9

Pray/Meditate:

Find a quiet place during the day and pray ask God to heal your heart during this painful season of life.

Ask Him to lift your heavy grief and to give you comfort and peace and that passes all understanding. 

Ask him to bring you into fellowship with other women who can help encourage your heart.

Meditate, close your eyes and take deep breaths in through your noses and exhale through your mouth (5 to 10 times) . Let your body slow down, relax your mind and just be in this moment. 

---

RELATED POST: SHOULD YOU SHARE YOUR MISCARRIAGE ON FACEBOOK?

---

8. Create Boundaries 

In life, it’s important to have healthy boundaries, boundaries can keep your heart and feelings safe and protected.

Setting boundaries during your miscarriage grief can help you have a sense of peace, it will help you feel in control when it seems like so many things are out of your control. 

 When you don’t have boundaries you can feel discomfort, anxious, resentful, offended, I mean that list can go on and on.

But, if you draw clear and healthy boundaries you can regain your peace, feel safe, and protected. 

Because, during this season of loss you need all the protection you can get to safely begin your healing journey.

As I mentioned above, setting boundaries can be such as not attending a baby shower, or having to unfollow certain people on social media or social media as a whole 

Boundary setting tips after a miscarriage

• Be aware of your needs.
• Its ok to say no
• Its ok to ask for help and not feel guilty about it. You don’t need to be superwoman. 
• Reflect on the people or situations that may trigger or drain you and limit your exposure to them.
• Open communication is a must, be direct and honest and about what you need from others around you.

Share if this is helpful!